The Ho Connection

To all of you who googled Ho and came to my blog, I want to say you have very dirty minds, this entry is about my doctors and cholesterol (get your thoughts out of the gutter). I was originally thinking of calling the blog the Ho Train, but I thought that could be even worse. I have been told that my blog just talks about things going on around the world and that I should write a little more about my life, so for those critics, here you go (and as an added bonus, my parents are coming to visit us in Shanghai in a couple of weeks, and all my loyal readers will get to follow me and my family on these adventures).

Yesterday was my first visit to a doctor in Shanghai (nothing serious, just catching up on my asthma prescriptions). As some of you know I have lost over 50lbs while over here in China, so I also wanted to get a checkup on my cholesterol (see if it is any better then when I left). I made an appointment with Dr. Warren Ho, who is the twin brother of our kids pediatrician Dr. Wayne Ho, needless to say we love our Ho's in Shanghai.(okay so maybe that is not appropriate). I got my results for the cholesterol test yesterday evening and my HDL came in at 42 while my LDL is 142 (total cholesterol, including triglycerides is 198). First Dr. Ho (love saying that by the way) said that I am a little high for being 26, but that there are no red flags yet. This is consistent with the American Heart Association, they basically say a HDL of less then 40 is at risk (I am close here), and an LDL between 130 and 159 is borderline high (yikes). They do note that a cholesterol of under 200 is what we should be aiming at, which is where I am at. Basically I just have to take measures to raise my HDL while lowering my LDL, I have about another 20 to 30lbs to lose before I meet my goal (I know losing 80lbs in China would be huge, but its the wake up call that I needed). I will most likely get my cholesterol checked again once I have gotten to my target weight and see if anything has happened (that not including continuing to eat better, sorry DSD you are out of the picture for now). So I believe my cholesterol dropped a bit, but no significant change, oh well Renee and I are learning a lot over here about God, life, and our eating habits, so I think things will continue to get better in this arena.

IN: Fast food. Well I have an obligation to share the facts whether you or I like it or not. Yes, even though people continue to want to be more healthy, the fast food industry is booming and they still have huge growth potential (look at developing countries like countries in the South Pacific, Africa, India, and China where the major chains are just beginning). In the US it is seen with new fast food chains blowing up all over the place, so you can't even deny the growth in the US. Back in the late '90's when McDonalds was showing quarterly losses and other chains were shutting down certain operations, people thought the tide was turning, but years later the chains have proven that they are able to entice people all over the world and continue to dominate. Fact is, people never stopped going to fast food, they just started going more frequently. Sorry to all you health nuts, doesn't make me happy either (not that I can't say a $1 double cheeseburger doesn't hit the spot every once in a while), but the fast foods have found a way into our hearts (literally).

OUT: Being a Christian means being a Republican. This probably needs 50 entries to explain, but I am opening the book that will probably continue in the future. I just finished reading an article on CNN.com that led me to this discussion, keeping it brief, the article dumbfounds me. I understand that Republicans are pro life and against gay marriages (basically the two issues that draw Christians to vote Republican), but what about the social and economic platforms that many Democrats support that are consistent with the Bible. I don't want to go on too much of a diatribe, but its wrong to say that just because you are a Christian means you have to be a Republican. Fact is, the article above shows why this is a huge modern day problem, doesn't appear to be a strong "Christian" candidate for any "Evangelicals" to support, in fact Barak Obama probably has the strongest marital and family out of all the candidates (notwithstanding his admitted drug use, but I seem to remember Bush dabbling in a little bit of the nose candy in the past, or at least he never denied it). So what does that mean, well don't just vote for a party because you fall into a category, i.e. Black = Democrat, Christian = Republican (aren't there black Christians? they must just be confused), Hippie = Green Party, Old = Bad Driver. So do a little research on your own, see where they stand on the issues, where they have voted in the past, get informed (I don't mean watching MSNBC or FOX News, cause they don't inform you, they just fight over who is better and nothing good ever gets said). So to all you "Evangelicals" I just want to say, feel free to vote for who you want in 2008 (note I am a Christian and am confused as to why I defaulted myself to always voting Republican in the past).

Attention foreigners in Shanghai: STAY INSIDE

The weather has finally turned the corner here in Shanghai, yesterday it was around 23c (or for fahreinheit loving people, about 75f) and today it is even warmer. Since the sun was shining brightly and some of the pollution had been burned off, I felt the desire to go out for an after lunch walk. I crossed the street to People's Square to mosey on through the park. Just after crossing the street I was stopped by a couple who said hello, so as not to be rude, I said hello back which started a nice short 10 minute conversation.

Now for those of you not in Shanghai, Shanghai is a huge tourist destination for the Chinese (similar to a NYC or London) so on any given day you have a load of Chinese tourists just enjoying the city. Now People's Square is also a famous park for people to visit while here in Shanghai, it just so happens to be right across the street from my office. Mix these two things together and what you have is tourists that sometimes come from more remote parts of China or smaller towns who have never seen, let alone had a conversation with a westerner. I guess that's where I come in, most local westerners tend to ignore the hello or have their MP3 players blasting, so these tourists only get the lucky few like me to talk with. Anyway, I don't mind the conversations, most of the time they are blown away that I would like to talk with them, mostly followed by small talk (how long have you been here, what are you doing here), moving onto the people being blown away that I am 26 (yesterday I was told that I looked like a high school student, please feel free to fill in your own funny comment) and the fact that I have two kids. I have also been told that my English is better then that of the current governor of California (a good fact to know considering I was born in the US and he was born in Austria!!!). Those withstanding, I think I make their day as they leave the conversation smiling and usually talking excitedly to their travelling counterpart.

Back to the story at hand, I left that first conversation and started to stroll around the park when I was approached by another two tourists, asking the same questions, being amazed by the same things (although this group was thoroughly disappointed that I didn't know much Chinese), this conversation lasting another 10 minutes. Basically, my 10 minute walk around the park took about 30 minutes, so while I wish I could have walked around more, I am happy that people were excited to talk with me, but I guess I need to bring my Ipod out on those days when all I want to do is walk (really I am not that exciting of a guy, I'm an accountant, from Baltimore, MD......let the fun times begin).

Trust me I have a masters degree

It has come to my attention that the sweeping TV show hit of 2007 is a game show designed to prove that adults are no smarter then the average 5th grader. Being over here in China has prevented me from watching such exciting TV, but from what I heard this show is taking over the TV airwaves. I believe it is on once a week now, although I would assume that FOX will put it into any time slots where they need viewers, hence it will be on at least 5 nights a week come summertime. Since I have not seen the show, in order to intelligently discuss this instant classic show, I took the quiz online. Well, needless to say I got all 7 questions right and it ends up that I am smarter then a 5th grader (glad to see that the 18+ years of education came in handy). Some observations that I have after hearing about this show:

• Did FOX run out of good reality show ideas? I mean whatever happened to such great reality show concepts as "If robot octopuses attack" and "My mom, my sister?".


• Jeff Foxworthy is the host, does he not know that FOX is mocking him by having him as the host? It's one thing to be a goofy game show host, but from what I hear he is taking the gig seriously. And I think we can all agree that he had a nice career with his whole "You might be a Redneck if..", wait a second, okay now I see why he took the job.


• FOX is actually doing a service to society as they are not so quietly blasting the US education system. No, I don't expect everyone to know what a Nimbus cloud is, but based on the quiz I took, it should be pretty easy for someone to figure out the answers the questions (for example, no I don't now how many ounces of water are in 3 pints, but when I was given an answer set, I knew that 8 ounces of water equals 1 cup and I deduced that a pint is more then a cup, my answer choices included 12 (obviously wrong), 24, and 48, so even estimating based on my assumption gives me over 24, so it had to be 48). Anyway, if you can't answer the questions like the one above, maybe you should put down the remote and open up a book (or at least watch a documentary).

Anyway, I guess its a show that kids and parents can watch, and it is definitely a step up from the really low down reality shows that FOX was producing (remember Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance), just don't let Foxworthy tell any Redneck jokes and you should experience continued success for the next 4-6 months.

IN: What else do I have to say, Are You Smarter then a 5th Grader is clearly where it is at in the TV world.

OUT: Playstation, specifically Playstation III (PS3). Now I know the economics behind it, fact is for all the articles that talk about Wii outselling Playstation it merely has to do with not only the price being lower, but also the fact that there were more Wii systems available to the public then PS3. Still no excuse, and actually maybe a showing that the Nintendo super power can still flex its muscles. Listen Nintendo destroyed Atari out of existence, Sega just couldn't compete (I mean how many people looked forward to the release of Sega Saturn?), Playstation came out and everyone thought the tide was turning. But alas, after a few hick ups, Nintendo has come back. Simply put, even with the factors noted above, Nintendo knows its gaming market, and they also are keen on what they need to do to beat out the competition. I don't think Nintendo is going to destroy Sony's Playstation or Microsoft's Xbox like it did Sega (mostly because these companies have more resources from other products that it can use to back the marketing of a gaming system then a Sega ever had), but I have to give big props to Nintendo for making a nice comeback. A few years ago I would have said that Nintendo is the modern day Atari, getting ready to get wiped out as the Nintendo generation is getting older, but I think it might live to see another day, sorry Sony.

I believe the children are our.....weathermen

Hispanic children to be exact, confused, well hold that thought. First, to Mr. Al Gore, your whole "scientific theory" about global warming is quite nice if you want to believe in such witchery as carbon monoxide is creating a hole in the ozone (hello, all good scientists would tell you that its from beetles and cows passing gas). Mr. Gore would also like you to think that all these weather anomalies over these past couple of years are because of this supposed global warming (note the Tsunami, major hurricanes, Nintendo Wii outselling PS3). Well, I think we have all been mislead, yes even the Academy of Motion Picture, Art and Science (we all know that the freaky movie Jesus Camp was the clear winner of best documentary), in fact the weird weather we have been experiencing has nothing to do with global warming, au cont rare (that's french....I think), the wacky weather has been due to two studious young Hispanic children, for anonymity lets call these kids El Nino and La Nina. In fact we can pinpoint the weather problems of the world over the last 10 years to these two pesky kids. The goods news, I can continue to drive my Canyonaro (mileage: 0 city, 1 highway) and not have to worry about skin cancer, the bad news, I have to dump re-fried beans into the ocean in order to keep El Nino and La Nina in a good mood.

IN: Chalk - This NCAA tournament is almost too predictable, to prove it, I am 2 for 2 on the first two final four entrants and I have a great chance of going 4 for 4, this definitely would not make El Nino happy. Yes I am happy that the first March Madness that I was not in the States did not have too much parody. Granted, there were a good amount of close and down to the wire games, but in the end the big guy is winning (I mean Oregon is the major underdog left in the tourney, Oregon?). I know, the NCAA selection committee awarded a lot of the mid majors games against other mid majors in order to eliminate the mid majors more quickly and there were some mid majors like Butler and Southern Illinois that were really high seeds and not really seen as dark horses, but if I get all 4 final four selections, I can officially say that this has been the least exciting tournament of my life (I will update you tomorrow when the remaining 2 games get results). So to you chalk, congrats, I always thought your days were numbered (especially with the dry erase boards taking over), but you should really be thankful to the BCS muscle schools who are flexing their weight around in 2007, also you can thank the public school system (they will never get rid of chalkboards). **UPDATE** I went 4 for 4!!! For the first time ever I have correctly predicted who would get there. I know I am not that only one (I mean who could not predict two #1's and two #2's), but after numerous years of only getting one or two, I can say I feel I got some confidence back.

OUT: 2002 1st round QB drafts. (note that sports dominated in and out today, sorry to all those parties not interested) For all you NFL teams looking to make a big splash in the 1st round of 2007, here is something you can reflect on, the 2002 1st round QB's were (drum roll) David Carr (No. 1), Joey Harrington (No. 3), and Patrick Ramsey (No. 32). Please don't pass out from amazement, but that is how the ball rolled that year and look where those guys are. Carr was asked to leave Houston (now in his defense the Houston teams STUNK and they had not line, I actually think this guy is a legit backup who can be an asset to a team for insurance when the 1st QB goes down, just have a half decent line and he could even get a second chance), Harrington was slightly redeemed in Miami after looking like Ryan Leaf in Detroit (his passing yardage is amazing, but still makes really stupid mistakes), and Ramsey is no longer considered a legitimate starter anywhere (Denver brought him in this year to maybe compete for the backup job behind Cutler, most likely will be 3rd stringer). I think all of these guys will be journey men and might stick around for another years, but just think with that No 1 and No 3 pick you could have had the following perennial pro bowl players: Julius Peppers, Dwight Freeney, and Ed Reed to name a few.

E-Blocked

To all my loyal readers out there, I've been e-blocked. China has officially blocked its internet users from accessing blogspot blogs. Right now I am on my US computer accessing blogspot through my US VPN (for those of you non-techies out there, this basically means that my computer is accessing the internet using a US ISP address, so even though I am in China, I am able to access the internet as if I were in the US, a really cool thing when you are in a country that likes to restrict internet access). Anyway, I think I am still able to post to the blog, I just can't view the blog, which is really stupid, but that is sometimes how the Chinese Government tries to flex its muscles. So if my posts become more infrequent it is primarily because I don't have access to my own blog. Sorry fans.

I swear, my daughter is not a racist

Yesterday while I was playing with my daughter, she did something right and I congratulated her with the ever so famous Arsenio Hall Woo Woo (please stay on topic, I understand that this should never ever be done by anyone else in the world). Now, my daughter is just over 2 1/2 years old, and since Arsenio Hall has not been famous since the early 1990's, she has no idea who he is. With that in mind, my daughter exclaimed, "Daddy, you look like a monkey." So first, while I was doing something made famous by Arsenio Hall (check that, I think it is a complete oxymoron to use famous and Arsenio Hall in the same sentence), my daughter was identifying me, not Arsenio as the monkey, and second, I now understand why Arsenio only had his 15 minutes of fame. Nonetheless, Maddie is right, I did look like a monkey while I was doing it. So the next time a 2 1/2 year old is watching the archived episodes of Arsenio Hall (okay, so this might not ever happen in the future) and exclaims that "He looks like a monkey" I can scientifically prove to that parent that their child is not a racist, rather they are not only saying a factual statement, but they are also on their way to being a great television critic.

IN: Dark Chocolate - yet again this proves that I am being objective, cause I absolutely hate Dark Chocolate. Unfortunately, it is definitely the IN chocolate (sorry milk, white, and semisweet chocolate). There have been some recent articles that say that dark chocolate is actually healthy for you, so people are climbing onto the band wagon. Unfortunately that band wagon won't get too far because all the people are overweight from eating FREAKING CHOCOLATE. Yes, the reality is dark chocolate is still chocolate, thus those of you who are looking to dark chocolate for its health benefits are probably also the people that are looking at a taco salad for its health benefits. For anyone who thinks that they will all the sudden get healthy from eating dark chocolate, please feel free to indulge until you can't even shop at Lane Bryant (more like Lame Bryant) UPDATE: As a quick aside, Lane Bryant is a very cool store and great people are shopping there, so don't be offended cause I mentioned that store, only be offended if you are on the dark chocolate diet.

OUT: Arsenio Hall's Woo Woo - I realize I am about 17 years too late on this one, but believe me there are still people that do this (try checking out the background of any major sporting event). So to those of who use it (ala me) you are totally out, it's not even close to being in. In fact, even if you are using it in a sarcastic manner or to make fun of a nerd, you are still 100% out. Thus, this entry rings in the death of the Woo Woo, sorry all you Arsenio fans (hey, he did do a good supporting role in "Coming to America.")

My Rant #1

I heard recently that there are people upset because offensive tackle Jonathan Ogden of the Baltimore Ravens is considering retiring. This I have a huge problem with, let me give you a couple of facts: Ogden is 32 years old and will be 33 when the season starts, is 6 foot 9, weighs anywhere from 345lbs (what he is listed at) to about 370lbs (what most people think he is playing at) and he has been in the league for 12 years, and let me remind you, people are upset at him thinking of retiring, most of them cause they argue that he is only 32 years old and most people can't think of retirement until they are 62.

So this is where these people are 100% wrong, first, he is not a regular person, hello - he is 6 foot 9 and 350 pounds (anybody else want to stand up and say they are that much of a physical gladiator)!!! Second, his job is probably one of the most physically enduring jobs in all the world. Third, and most importantly, studies have shown that the average life span of a football player is less then 62 years (oh yeah, studies on linemen show that they average about 55 years), that's over 10 (and for linemen almost 20) years less then an average person. So let me put it this way for all of you who are complaining, Ogden as a lineman might make it to the age of 55, so we have to translate his real age of 32 to NFL linemen age which would make him about 50 years old in regular person years. Yes that's right, his body is basically at a stage of what an average regular person's deteriation would be at 50 years old, and he is still thinking of playing next year. I applaud Ogden for his career and am encouraging him to retire now, not tomorrow, or the next day, now. Adding another year to his career could have even more permanent damage that will haunt him for the rest of his life. So to those people that think he is still young and can do it, drop it, football players don't sit behind a desk all day typing at a computer and passing gas, they drive their bodies into the ground at least 6 months out of the year and each play and each hit is gradually killing them faster.

See, I am not basketball crazy

Just ran across this article on Relevantmagazine.com, it basically relates the March Madness craziness around deciding on the 65 teams in the tournament to the Christian Faith. Yes, it is a little cheesy, but for you die hards he makes a point. Anyway, I must reiterate what Ben pointed out in the article, Jay Bilas definitely is the best analyst ESPN has to offer, he doesn't seem to have any agenda and won't hype a team just because they need to be hyped and he tells it like it is, so Jay Bilas keep it up.

I ride the short bus

On mornings like this one, for those of you in other parts of the world, it was raining pretty hard this morning, I bypass my morning walk and choose to take the shuttle from our apartment complex to the subway station. To give you a little background on the shuttle, it is basically a short bus and it is designed simply to take people from the apartment complex to the subway station and back around the rush hour times (7-9am and 6-7pm). So, on rainy mornings and evenings, I find myself riding the short bus. I guess for those of you who know me, this is not a far out stretch (that is, me riding the short bus), but let me tell you it does feel a little weird. I should also say that I will typically ride the 7:40am bus to the station and this time slot tends to be the "take the kids to school shuttle" as there are about 10 kids (between 5-10) that hope on the short bus (along with me) and the driver drops them off at school (on the way to the subway station). So needless to say, having the kids on the bus with me helps me to really feel like I am riding the short bus. Nonetheless, it also re-kindles my feelings of being a bully back in school (you know me, the big bully to all the nerds), so this ride tends to make me more wealthy as I am able to hold all the kids by their ankles while their lunch money comes pouring out of their pockets (yes Ghou Wan, you still owe me 4.5RMB for last Tuesday).

IN: Micro-Enterprise (banking/investment). For those of you who are so 2006 and have no idea what this is, micro banking/investment is a tool utilized by people in developed countries to help get proper funding to (mostly) agricultural entrepreneurs in developing countries. You see, in countries like India (where they have a cast system), a farmer who needs money to help fertilize land and grow a crop may take a loan out from a wealthy local, its just the interest on this loan is far too much for the farmer to ever be able to pay the wealthy local back, thus they fall farther into debt and essentially become the wealthy mans servant. In other cases you have banks that are not willing to give out loans to people with no credit or nothing to pledge and they are also not willing to give out low dollar loans like those needed by farmers to get started (loans with values less then $10,000USD). As such, there are organizations popping up all over the world that are opening lending institutions in these developing countries whereby these people can get safe loans that they can manage financial and be able to get themselves off their feet with farming and other entrepreneurial endeavors and the loans are essentially guaranteed by funding from the developed countries. What is so awesome is this is like a handout, but helps to benefit people in many more ways then just giving them money and let them do what they want with it. If you want to find out more about this you can check out Opportunity International's website here.

OUT: Matt says talking in third person is out. To all of you people still living in 1999 and 2000 when talking in 3rd person was really cool (wait, hold that point, I should have said annoying instead of cool), get out of it. Actually, psychologists believe that when a person is talking in 3rd person they are actually trying not to take responsibility for what they are talking about, as if someone else (even though they use their own name) has done something. This is seen when basketball star Ron Artest was apologizing for his domestic violence issue by saying, "Ron Artest once again is in the media for something other than basketball and I apologize." Do you hear it, he actually refers to Ron Artest as if he is another guy, this is his denial, he perceives in his mind that there is this violent and mean Ron Artest, then there is this basketball player Ron Artest when in fact we know him as one person. Anyway, crazy put aside, it is really stupid and my 2nd grade English teacher would be very mad at all of you 3rd person talkers. So let's all get together and start using proper pronouns again.

Maddie's Insight of the Day

While my daughter was being reprimanded by my wife, Renee, my wife was asking her if she had done something and my daughter refused to answer. My wife then said, "answer me with yes or no," and my daughter answered her, "yes or no." Now, technically my daughter was correct with her answer to my wife, but obviously my wife was looking for one answer or the other. Needless to say, in a moment when we were supposed to be serious and teaching her a lesson, I broke out in laughter, which will probably lead to her doing drugs or something bad like that when she's a teenager.

I called it

I know that the second round has already begun, but let me give you a quick summary of the first round...it was not that exciting. Basically everyone won who was supposed to win, with the exception of Notre Dame, who I, of course, said would not win, so that was not a big surprise(note in the picture, no jersey popping, looks like the guys are listening to my In's and Out's). Other then that, everyone is in the running for their office pools, cause, inevitably, everyone picks either the #1, #2, or #3 teams to make it to the final four and as of the end of the first round (and so far today) they are all still in the race. I was a huge homer and picked 'Nova to go to the elite eight (I did the same last year and they did it, so I thought I some kind of Miss Cleo connection with my boys), but alas they lost in the first round so I just hope that all my picks come out (as of right now, all my major picks are still the running, no major mishaps, although I am regretting having OSU in the final four).

IN: Non-farm raised fish (yes I know, this in turn makes farm raised fish out, which is is, but I will spare you a whole conversation on this). Yes, the mass has spoken and they are saying, "I want to eat fish caught where they were supposed to be swimming." Farm raised fish have been around for years in the States, but the quality is getting worse and worse and many people are paying a premium to get the fresh non-farm raised fish over the farm raised. In fact, in many menus across the States, you will see where the fish is caught prominently placed in the description showing that you are paying for the real thing (be weary of those restaurants that don't show it, they are just hiding that they use frozen farm raised fish). Besides the fact that the farm raised fish eat their own poop (as they are just essentially in a man made lake, they also do not get to swim in a natural environment (many of the times they are meaty due to the things they are fed, not because they do a lot of swimming that a fish in a natural environment would do). So, go out and get your fresh natural fish and know that you are part of the in crowd.

OUT: Being a socialist/communist. Yes, hold the presses, you hear it first right here, being a communist is not in. You will note that I am in China, but we all know they are just pretenders anyway, and while in 2005 and 2006 people thought that Castro's reign was finally grabbing some new listeners (see Venezuela's Chavez for example), but alas people are rejecting this. Castro is about to be cooked (my prediction is that he doesn't make it through the hot summer), and the South Americans are rejecting the uprising of socialism being led by Chavez (see the Ecuadorian election, where the people elected the more conservative candidate instead of Chavez's boy). Yes I know that Castro has his predecessor, but even Cuba has allowed McD's to come in and others to follow, Castro loves to ring in Capitalism with a nice Big Mac. So for all you countries that are looking to get rid of democracy and change over to a dictator...I mean communistic system, you are out in 2007 (and for the rest of time, while I have your attention).

Poisoned

Its been a couple of weeks since the whole Peter Pan peanut butter scandal hit the news. Just a couple of days ago, they expanded their recall to include even more of the peanut butter. A little background as to why I am bringing this up, it was last March that my family and I were visiting Disney World in Orlando. When we got there, the first place we went was the grocery store, to stock up on the necessities..peanut butter being one of them. We never ever eat Peter Pan brand peanut butter, so I can't re-call why we did on this particular occasion (my wife is convinced that it was on sale since I am so cheap). Nonetheless, we bought it and I must have had some. Now without getting into the fine details of everything, yes it was one of the re-called peanut butter containers and I got violently ill. I mean it was bad, for basically 2 days I couldn't eat anything and I could hardly even drink anything. I have had the stomach flu in the past (maybe a 24 hour thing), but this takes the cake, it was really bad. So for anyone trying to imagine how bad Salmonella is, I can tell you, it's real bad. The only reason we knew it was the re-called peanut butter was that my in laws took the rest of the PB home with them when we left for China and they were just going to get to it a couple of weeks ago when they looked at the code on it and noticed it was a part of the huge re-call, oh well, I'm sticking with Skippy or JIF from now on.

As a side note, when I went to see the doctor over this, she said to me, "yeah this is going around, it should be gone in a couple of days." Some conclusions I gathered from this doctors visit:

• If doctors don't know what exactly is going on, they say "yeah this is going around, it should be gone in a couple of days." Yes friends they spend 1million years in school to tell me something my wife was telling me (minus the whole "this is going around" part)
• I don't know how this was "going around" if they real outbreak has just happened fairly recently.

IN: HDTV, yes yes, I may be a little late on this, but its still very in. My parents bought a 57 inch flatscreen HDTV, and got the HD service through their cable provider. Yes my friends, this technology has finally hit the mainstream when my parents partake. Thus, we have officially moved from, let's go to so and so's house to watch the game in HD, rather nobody will really have to say that since it's becoming the thing to do. Being here in China, I have not had a real chance to indulge in the HD craze (saw some events back home, but usually in a public place where I couldn't get the full feel of it), but I am excited to know that when I get back, HD will be all over. When I saw my first game on HD, I was one of those that said, there isn't a huge difference. Then I watched a part of a game on a new HD flatscreen, and knew that HD was my destiny.

OUT: Peter Pan peanut butter, you are definitely out. For me, you will be out for basically the rest of my life. I know, not all of Peter Pan peanut butter is contaminated, but what I went through for those two days I would not wish on anyone, so I stick with some other nice competitor.

One other reason why smoking kills...

On my nice walk to the subway this morning I saw a man with a cigarette in his mouth. Now, this is not an unusual sight here in China, but I still found myself trying to get some good distance between myself and this man. No, it just wasn't because of the deadly second hand smoke that might cause my body to stop functioning, rather it was the fact that he was carrying around a FULL GAS CAN!!!!!!! I'm not an scientific expert, but I do know enough to realize that a full gas can and a lit cigarette are not good to mix together. I guess that is what the Chinese are talking about when they talk about post Chinese New Year's fireworks.

IN: 300. I'm actually not into movies like 300, and after seeing the previews it does not change my views. Although I do tend to watch most of the blockbuster hits just to keep up with the buzz, and since a DVD is about 1 buck over here in China, I will probably plan on getting the DVD sometime in May when a good version of the movie hits the street. The movie made over 70millionUSD on its first weekend, which is pretty good since it only cost them 60millionUSD to make. The visuals look like it has been done before, the blatant killing has definitely been done before, so I still am skeptical if this movie has any staying power, but, despite what I think, its "in" right now, so go see it if you have the chance.

OUT: This "out" is understandably about 2 months overdue, but anything related to Anna Nicole Smith is very out. Listen everyone, she is cooked, she did not do anything in her life of significance, so I'm not sure why this is such a big deal. Actually, I would rather watch a news story on a man carrying around a full can of gasoline with a lit cigarette then anything on Anna Nicole Smith. Just barry her and get this stupid drama over with. By the way, my bets are on OJ as the father, yes my friends, that's how bad the reporting has gotten related to this.

I am still American and I am still Fat

Early this morning I woke up without a shirt on (to me this was a mystery, I never sleep with a shirt off, so maybe the shirt stealing fairy took it away from me last night....I have already been called to be on the next installment of unsolved mysteries with Robert Stack....that show really freaked me out as a kid). Back to the story, so I usually wake up before anybody else in the house. When Maddie woke up and came out to the living room, in her groggy state she said, "Daddy, you're not dressed (mind you I had pants on)....that's funny," in which she then began to giggle.

Some conclusions that came from this:

• Even though I have lost 50 pounds over here in China, I am still an overweight slob (5'9 200lbs)
• Showing off my upper body without a shirt is comical (even to 2 1/2 year olds)
• Why isn't Unsolved Mysteries still on primetime network TV? This was the best non-reality, reality TV show on at 8pm on Wednesdays night on NBC back in 1992.

Good luck world, my daughter has already mastered the art of bringing people down with humor.

IN: We are only a couple of hours removed from the NCAA tournament selection, get your bracket here. March Madness is definitely in right now, starting Tuesday night (see my prior post as to how to make this whole one big first round of fun) people will begin to forget that they have a life outside of college basketball and begin to make sure their IT department hasn't blocked CBS Sportsline.com. Me, I used to fill out different brackets, now I just fill out one bracket, enter many contests and go along with the ride. So to everyone who's lives stop for about 3 weeks beginning this week enjoy (by the way, they don't show the games on TV so I am proceeding to CBS Sportsline to see if I can sign up to watch the games). UPDATE: So I just went to the website and put in my username and password from last year, SCORE...it worked, I will update you all if the games actually come through (if you are a gambling man, my best upset pick, Winthrop over Notre Dame, just look at Winthrop's only 4 losses, not too shabby). You will have to wait to find out my pick to win it all. **UPDATE** Earlier this morning I checked into CBSsportsline.com and I'm in. This is truly awesome, I get to watch at least the first 2 rounds over here in China this is a great taste of home. By the way, I am also enjoying the advertisements, since they are all new to me.

OUT: Offices that block out CBS Sportsline during the NCAA's. As of last year, CBS began to allow its viewers to watch any game over the Internet at anytime (so if your team is not in your region, you can dial up the Internet and partake), this my friends is officially awesome. To counter this, many Company's across the States had their IT department block these websites to halt down productivity, and they are already doing it again this year. To the capitalists of the world, this blocking of CBS and a person's rights to watch the best sporting event in the world, is so last year (where is the UN on this one, isn't this simply a human rights violation, come on guys drop what's going on in Darfur...okay that's not funny, what's going on in Darfur is much more serious). Bottom line if someone really wants to follow the games, they will track the scores on an unblocked website, they will listen to it on the radio, or they will even go out for a long lunch to partake. So, Company's around the US, just give in, give your peeps a little break from the boring work they hate to do, just think you can be one of the "cool" Company's that people brag that they are allowed to watch the games without any problem from management. It will actually make the people appreciate the mundane work they do all 360 days throughout the rest of the year.

I'm not a Purist

Expand...Expand!! As March Madness approaches the arguement always comes up as to if the tournament should be expanded. Now basketball purists would say no, but I don't even know what a basketball purist is (is this someone who wants the guys to still be throwing a rubber band ball into a peach basket?) So here's my proposal, nothing huge, just an addition of 7 more teams into the tournament (note that the tourney is currently 65, so this would mean 72 teams). Yes just 72 teams, and that would be it. Listen I understand that the tournament is fine as is, but I do believe that there is consistently 3-4 teams that don't get in because of the auto bids from the meaningless confereces (without looking it up, what does MEAC mean). So how does 72 work you ask, basically all 15 and 16 seeds in the tournament of 64 are determined by play in games. Since one 16 seed is already determined by a play in game, you would add 7 more play in games for the remaining 15 and 16 seeds, thus opening 7 more seeds in the torunament. Think of it, you would actually then have even more competetive 2-15 matchups and probably get your first 1-16 upset, and all these teams that have winning records in conference play plus 20 wins would most likely be in (which appears to the the standard of arguement). Instead of being played in sketchy Ohio, all the play in games would be played the Tuesday and Wednesday before the tournament (thus having almost a full week of tournament action) with all the games being played at classic arenas (I propose the Palestra, as this is one of the most historic and intimate playing environments). So there you go, the best solution to expansion that I have heard. Now I like the tournament as is, but sometimes it kills me to see a 17-12 Central Connecticut get an auto bid over 22-9 Michigan State.

In: Carnitas, Carnitas, Carnitas. Yes, slow cooked pork on a corn tortilla is where it's at, and you can pretty much find Carnitas at all legit Mexican places in addition to some none Mexican places picking up on the craze. If done right, a good carnita will melt in your mouth with some light garlic, lime, and cilantro flavors, oh man do I miss a good carnita. So in celebration of this post, I have decided to make homemade carnitas, they are cooking right now, I will give you an update when they are done. By the way, for a chain, Chipotle has a lot going on, and their carnitas are really good (not melt in your mouth good) but they are an awesome complement to the ingredients in their burritos.

Out: Media coverage of people hating Bush. Just in case you didn't know, there were people around the world that didn't like Clinton and they protested when he came to their country (how soon we forget what a role the US played in bombing Yugoslavia, the symbols used in this link are eerily similar to those being publicized all over the internet for anti-Bush protests). I know that he has made some really bad decisions and I know that there are many people in the world that don't like him, but half of those people don't like the US in general so its unfair to point the finger all at Bush. I mean the media never showed the protests of Clinton when he was travelling (umm let me think why), so let's get off of it, anti-Bush media is very old news (I know its agenda setting for 2008), but if you're going to do it, point out the fact that the Senate voted on this war and the Senate continues to approve funding for the war (I don't think the Senate is all Bush supporters).

Maddie's Insight of the Day

While walking past a fountain my 2 1/2 year old daughter pointed out to my wife: "Jesus can walk on water." My wife exclaimed, "That's right." Maddie then said, "I cannot walk on water."

The rest of the conversation included my wife explaining to Maddie why that is, but from my perspective my 2 1/2 year old daughter profoundly exclaimed in as few words the message of how awesome the Gospel is. She has humbly realized already how awesome Jesus was, which is more then what many adults in this world can realize. I guess all I can say is that she is a genius.

What are you thinking?

The Baltimore Ravens traded a 3rd and 7th round pick in 2007 and another 3rd round pick to Buffalo for Willis Mcgahee (finally the Ravens have a solid guy of Irish heritage on their team). Maybe 5 years ago I would have said, great deal, this is definitely a step up, but in 2007 this deal smells a little like my breath in the morning. You are going to get a special two "outs" today, with the first being: Paying a high price for a running back is OUT!!!!! I know, they actually did not pay that much for Mcgahee, but what they did pay was too much. As you might be noticing, there are good to great NFL running backs that come out of the late rounds of the draft and can make an impact on the team for a much cheaper price then paying a high priced stud (I believe Chester Taylor had a better season then Edgerrin James). So a smart move would have been to use the 3rd round pick on a running back that could help them out for a couple of years at a cheap price tag, and utilize your already 2 decent running backs in Mike Anderson and Musa Smith to help the rookie learn the ropes. As a side note, RIP to Mike Anderson, you were signed last year with hopes to be the stud in Baltimore, now you are most likely going to be 3rd stringer, sorry man. Back to what I was talking about, the era of paying veteran running backs a lot of money is pretty much gone (unless you are the Texans or Cardinals who are destined to botch their top 5 first round picks for eternity so it really doesn't matter). Newsome usually does a great job, but on this one I am dumbfounded.

In: Social Justice. Yes friends social justice is in (actually this should never be out, ever), but statistics show that more Americans volunteered for causes last year then in recent history. So big ups to those volunteers and keep it up. Especially in the US, I think people are finally realizing that we have so much and also that we have so much to give back, so I hope that people continue to see how awesome it is to give back to those in need (both in the US and all over the world) as there is still so much you can get involved in. Need any ideas, feel free to ask me.

Out: American Idol. This is my first non-sports "out" (even though there is one above), and I realize I am probably 2-3 seasons too late on this one. Okay so about 30 million Americans still watch this modified karaoke contest, but that is more a sign that A: More Americans are watching TV in general and B: Programming on TV is pretty bad right now, so there aren't that many alternatives. I know Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood are probably the 2 big standout winners and they have done well in their own rights, but I stumbled upon it last night (on my pirated Philipino Satellite) and it was just not good, I don't know why this thing is still a hit. This show is heading towards a Survivor like downfall, and I predict it starts to happen next season, so American Idol 2010 will basically be the death of the show.

Squatty

Being over here in China, there are things that can be very different from what you get used to in the States...always eating meat on bones (boneless is said to be only for the priveledged and astronauts), people hawking all over the place, bikes running people over, and squatty potties. I've been here for almost a year and have thus far avoided using one of those mysterious squatty potties. Well until a week or so ago.

The story begins with me working in a remote area of China outside of the busy city of Guangzhou. Based on my bathroom research at this client it appears that all they have to offer a man is the squatty potty. One day I ate at the Company's canteen for lunch (canteen being what is referred to in the States as the cafeteria), the meat on that particular day was extra boney and the vegetables like a greased up cobra (for reference as to what greased up cobra refers to, please research the 1995 PSAT's). Anyway, I got back from lunch to find my stomach saying to me "was that food you just partook in or was that some solid form of Drano." Needless to say in just a couple of minutes, Mr. Doo Doo Brown was knocking at my door, and he was pretty angry. So my quick thoughts told me to run upstairs where the management have their offices, "there has to be a regular toilet up there, right?" I went racing up and with seconds to spare lunged into the first stall in the management bathrooms, to my dismay I found I had stumbled upon yet another squatty potty. Well, Doo Doo Brown wasn't going to wait so I hunkered down and set him free. Now, without getting into the awkward details, we'll fastforward to be washing my hands. I was out of the stall washing my hands when I glanced over to the stall next to the one that I just finished in, low and behold, there it was a regular toilet. Yes sir, this officially makes me an idiot, but oh well, at least I got to experience a little bit of China (in the bathroom).

Okay, so here's what you've really been waiting for:

In: Everything China (and I'm not just saying this cause I'm here). My sources in the US tell me that basically every network news broadcast each evening has at least 1 story related to China these days (last week not included). I also notice the popularity of China stories on Yahoo increasing (both during the China day and during the US day, so its not just the Asians boosting up the story's popularity). In fact the US even wanted to blame its stock market "adjustment" last week on China. To those of you who want to know, the Shanghai index resembles the US stock market pre-1929 (okay maybe not that bad, but its close), I know kind of scary, bottom line on this one, the Shanghai Index does not have much real value behind its numbers and will eventualy go through a much larger dip then what was seen last week. In a smart person's mind, this should not mean anything to the rest of the world (i.e. if something is overvalued it should go through a natural "correction," does anybody recall the e-bubble in the US market in the late 90's), unfortunately, investors not connected with what is going on are going to take that as a sign of doom and the US market will dip for no apparent reason (that will be about the time that I buy huge amounts of everything that will be undervalued). So to the US, keep watching the Shanghai index, real great market they got over here. And to US news broadcasters, it appears you are good to go with all your China stories as the public is soaking it up.

Out: Guaranteed Money in the NFL. I know, I know, this is my second sports related "out", but sorry, this has to end. Whatever happened to those good old days (like last year) when the NFL was the one league where a player could sign a 7 year deal for $49 million and only get an $8million signing bonus, with all the rest of the money up in the air based on their performance. Listen, if Joe Quarterback blows out his knee the first game of next season, sorry man, you got your signing bonus and we're releasing you, now that's football...you gotta earn what you get. Is anybody else tired of these outrageous MLB and NBA contracts (I believe the New York Knicks paid Allan Houston around $40million over the last two seasons, by the way he retired in October of 2005, that's some great business Isaiah). I mean Joey Porter got $20million guaranteed, are you kidding me (by the way, is anybody else reminded of Mushmouth from Fat Albert when Porter speaks "Iba like-a toba thanka the Miamiba Dolbinsba"). So NFL don't get yourself into the same rut as those other two sports, keep making the man earn their money.

Ins and Outs

So, to the average web browser I can imagine reading a blog might be boring, particularly reading a blog about someone's life. So as an added bonus to my blog fans (all 3 of you out there) I have decided (in my second day of blogging) that most of my entries will include an "in" and an "out" at the end of each entry. This in and out would define fads, news stories, current events, sports, or other pop culture references that are currently "in" meaning that, in my world of knowledge, they are new or are the it thing, or "out" meaning that they are old news and need to be put away. So, drum roll please, my first in-out is below:

IN: Podcasting your radio show/tv talk show. Okay, so I know this has been done for over a year, but many of the major media outlets are finally letting their radio/tv informational shows be podcasted, and I'm not talking about video podcasting (do I really have to wait 3 hours to download this?), I'm talking about just regular podcasting. I mean look at ESPN, basically, their podcasting has been my life blood into the world of sports while I'm over here in China. The Junkies from WJFK in DC have been my life blood in sports, news, and pop culture. So congrats to those media outlets that have been awesome about podcasting thier stuff, and to those of you who have not caught up, now's your chance!!!

OUT: Jersey Popping! Yes, the "thing to do" after a big win in college basketball in 2005/2006 is now OUT. Come on youngins, can't you come up with something new, I think after watching 4 quarters of you playing in that jersey the viewer would realize what school you play for. I don't get to watch much college hoops over here in Shanghai, but there has to be a new move that can be introduced, I mean Allan Ray of Villanova tried eye popping last year (a lot more discomfort then jersey popping, but he is okay and it got 'Nova some attention), okay so I'm joking here, no one attempt eye popping, but I'm looking forward to seeing something other then a guy flashing me VCU on their jersey come tourney time.

Background

Since this blogging thing is new to me, you will have to excuse me for assuming that my only readers will be those close friends and family. In the event that there is someone out there actually trying to view every website on the world wide web (the term surfing the web was popular back in my day, 2001 that is) I neglected to give a little background on me.

My name is Matt Gerkens and I have an amazing wife (Renee) and two awesome kids, Maddie (2 1/2) and Jacob (8 months). I have been married for coming up on 5 years (uh oh, the wood anniversary, looks like I will have to carve something nice for Renee). When Renee and I got married we began our marriage in Baltimore, MD, my home town. Maddie was born in Baltimore and things were great there. I had a chance to take a job opportunity in Shanghai, China in October of 2005, so in April of 2006 we moved over here to China and this is where we currently reside, far far away from Baltimore. We had Jacob while over here and are really enjoying our time (missing things from the US, but we have adjusted in many areas).

So that is a little bit about me. I felt the need to tell as there may be stories on this thing related to the goings ons in China, and a random reader would be like, what the heck is he talking about?

Maddie's Quote of the Day

As you parents out there will know, sometimes your kids say the darndest things (right Bill Cosby?), so as a part of this blog I will keep you all up to date with some of the wisdom that my kids share with us, right now actually only Maddie is speaking so until otherwise noted this is just Maddie talking.

When asked tonight who was God's son, Maddie replied "baby." Technically the answer is not wrong as Jesus was a baby, so we gave her the benefit of the doubt.

3 Years Too Late

Yet again I am late....tends to be the story of my life.

Yes all, I have finally begun a blog, and yes, I am about 3 years behind the technological curve on this one. Maybe it was because my life wasn't interesting 3 years ago (wait I do recall the birth of my daughter about 3 years ago), or maybe it was because I was still so excited about such things as Yu-Gi-Oh and crocheting during 2004 that I missed out on the big push of people beginning to blog.

Anyway, its 2007, so I can finally put down my crochet sticks and my yu-gi-oh cards (darn you Ryou Bakura, I will get you back when you become popular again in 10 years). Side note...I have no idea how to crochet or who Ryou Bakura is, it appears that sarcasm can be enhanced via the internet...interesting, probably something i could have figured out 3 years ago.

So this is the beginning of something special (how about that for a tagline, I was originally thinking of saying "blog..you complete me," but I decided that tag line was too Jerry Mcguire for me), I hope you enjoy reading about my life.