Signs I'm Getting Old

I'm 26 and starting to feel old father time coming down hard on me...okay, well not really, but every once in a while I get a swift kick in the face that I am getting old. In celebration, you will get a nice look into the mirror of "Matt Getting Old," so enjoy.

1. American Eagle - Being back in the States, of course I had to go on a nice shopping spree. This included having to pick up some new clothes for the summer (having lost a couple of lbs doesn't help with the clothes from last summer), as such I decided to walk into an old haunt of mine, American Eagle. Now when I say old haunt, I mean the last time I bought something from there was around twenty ought one, so needless to say it felt a little uncomfortable walking into the place. Unfortunately when I walked in I couldn't tell the men's section from the women's section. No really, it was that hard, even with pictures of guys on the wall leading me to the men's section had me questioning the clothes in that section as men's clothes. You know when you are walking behind someone and you're like, wow that girl has a really good body, and then they turn around and its a guy, that is American Eagle to me right now. Needless to say I didn't stay for more then 3 minutes, I basically walked in, looked confused as I walked from the women's clothes section to the not so women's clothes section (or was it???) and walked out. Happily no one asked me if they could help, which I contribute to the fact that I probably was about 10 years older then their average customer.

2. Silversun Pickups - I am very gender bias when it comes to my music, basically I am not a fan of too many women rockers. Although I really thought the Silversun Pickups had changed me on this one, then I listened to their album, and I now am convinced their lead singer is a guy. Actually I am still confused on this one, is it a guy or a girl? I have no idea, I am starting to think more and more that it is a guy, all I know is it's good music.

3.Old Navy-Clearly fashion isn't my thing, no I'm not wearing polyester suits, but I'm definitely no Ross dress for less model. Nonetheless, after my embarrassing encounter in American Eagle, I figured I could go into the much tamer and not as fashion progressive Old Navy store. I got a couple of items and headed off to the dressing room. After trying on a pair of jeans, I noticed that this pair of jeans had some fabric riffles in a couple of places on the jeans(I describe a riffle to be not a rip circa 1990, but its like the fabric is about to rip, kind of messed up looking). So I leave the changing room, pants on mind you, and ask if those riffle things are supposed to be in the jeans or if I just picked up a bad pair of jeans. With a lot more then obvious chuckle, the woman said that this was the style of the jeans and its supposed to be there. My reply, with my head slumping like the idiot that I am and my body exuding the confidence of an awkward middle school boy, "Oh...that's what I thought." Still chuckling, the young woman said, "Don't worry we get that question all the time." Hooray for me, let me get my cane and buy my grave plot now.

Signs I'm still young

1. The ringtone - A glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. The other day Renee had some high school students visiting our apartment, one of them had the infamous ringtone that old people can't hear, you know the one that is basically one pitch down from a dog whistle. Anyway, I had them put the tone on, and of course I could hear the tone, I am money (forget what you read above). I didn't completely believe that people couldn't hear the tone, so I had my dad come into the room and low and behold, he could not hear the tone. Wow that was pretty neat, I am a believer now.

IN: Riffles in your jeans. I could be a couple of years late here, but I never bought jeans with riffles, I guess they are in or else Old Navy did a good job of ripping me off.

OUT: Keyshawn Johnson, it's really funny that he was guest hosting in the draft and had to fake like he was excited when the Panthers took Dwayne Jarrett, I guess he knew that was the end of the line for him, sorry man, that's the NFL.