Over Christmas we bought Maddie a teddy bear that you can put in the microwave and it warms up (like this kind). Maddie named the teddy bear Freddie and has many warm nights sleeping with him (as the whole point of putting him in the microwave is that he stays warm for about an hours or so).
Last night I put Freddie into the microwave to heat up for bed, I left to get her ready for bed and Renee then walked into the kitchen and noticed smoke in the microwave and when she opened the microwave she was welcomed with the smell of burnt Freddie, yes Freddie had caught on fire in the microwave and a hole, right around the butt of the bear, was formed because that was the part of him that, ironically, caught on fire.
Everyone was okay, but our house smelled like clothes would after a bonfire, and I had to go into Maddie's bedroom and break it to her that Freddie would not be joining her for bed tonight. Upon hearing this she asked me what was wrong and I told her the truth that Freddie caught on fire and was burned (maybe not the best time to tell the truth). She was curious to see what this meant and started walking towards the kitchen and when she saw that Freddie was on the kitchen counter with a hole in him, she just started to burst into tears and yelling if Freddie was going to be okay. We told her that he was going to go to the hospital and see the doctor (Dr. Magoo) who is a burnt bear specialist. She could not fall asleep without Freddie as she was pretty shaken up by it (I mean who can blame her, if one of your friends had a hole burned into their butt, you would be distraught too), so Renee performed emergency surgery and bandaged him up so that Maddie could sleep with him. In the morning, Maddie's room smelled like someone was roasting dead bugs all night (which couldn't have been healthy for her), but she was happy and had a great night's sleep (probably the toxic fumes), I guess Freddie will just have to live with a big bandage over his butt until he is retired.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The sick ward has been moved to.....
Our apartment. Yes, turns out I had no room to complain about working over the weekend because, some would argue, that I had the good end of the stick working over the weekend in that nowhere town in China. You see my wife was at home tending to our sickly kids. They have both come down with a case of hand, foot and mouth disease. Personally I'm not sure if there is a disease that has more body parts in its name other then the infamous ring finger, oesophagus, eye, spleen and femur disease (a dreaded disease well known by the bourgeois in the heartland of Finland).
Anyway, Jacob was the first to come down with it and word from my wife wass that he didn't eat for a couple of days because it hurts too much to swallow. His alternative was to run around with a big fistful of food in his mouth looking like he is a baseball player chomping on tobacco. Maddie was the second to come down with it and even though mommy has told her that she has to take medicine in her mouth, she has exclaimed out loud, "I don't want to take medicine in my mouth, I want to have medicine in my butt." I really hope she grows out of this stage of no medicine in the mouth, because the alternative is just hard to swallow…..come on…come on, that is a good pun you will be using for years to come.
Anyway, Jacob was the first to come down with it and word from my wife wass that he didn't eat for a couple of days because it hurts too much to swallow. His alternative was to run around with a big fistful of food in his mouth looking like he is a baseball player chomping on tobacco. Maddie was the second to come down with it and even though mommy has told her that she has to take medicine in her mouth, she has exclaimed out loud, "I don't want to take medicine in my mouth, I want to have medicine in my butt." I really hope she grows out of this stage of no medicine in the mouth, because the alternative is just hard to swallow…..come on…come on, that is a good pun you will be using for years to come.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
I'm allergic to myself
Knowing that it would be pretty cold down here (considering most of China is experiencing one of the worst winters in decades), I packed a couple of sweaters to wear to work over the weekend. One of the sweaters that I packed I hadn't worn in a really long time. I spent this morning having snot rolling out of my nose from sneezing and having constant tears in my eyes, so I first theorized that maybe I have become allergic to myself. After thinking about that for more then 2 seconds, I concluded that I am not allergic to myself, rather I am allergic to the old sweater that I haven't worn in a really long time. As relief came over me that I was, in fact, not allergic to myself, I decided that it is probably best that I not wear the sweater anytime too soon.
It's fun to work on the weekend...wait
So I am down outside of Guangzhou in Kaiping for a fun filled weekend of….work. Yesterday was a great cold and rainy day where all I wanted to do was spend the day with Renee and the kids and hang out inside our apartment in Shanghai, too bad they are over 1,000 miles away, so that wasn't too practical. I have learned that I really don't like working on the weekends, I did it during the busy season at my company back in the States, and didn't realize how much it stunk. It's even better when you get to walk back to a hotel in the cold rain and go to an empty, kind of scummy room. I guess I shouldn't complain too much, cause even though I am working the weekend right now, my weeklong Chinese New Year Holiday is coming up, something I never got to enjoy back in the States in February.
Who Is She?
Maddie and I had an Abbott and Costello type of moment last week one night after work. I got home and said my regular hello's to all in the house when Maddie came running up to tell me about her time at the playground. I will put the following into a narration format, so you can get an idea of why I was so confused. When Maddie was done with the story she ended with:
Maddie: and when we left is she said goodbye.
Me: Oh that's great Maddie, (I didn't actually think anything in the story was great, rather I was just trying to give her positive reinforcement) so who is she that said goodbye?
Maddie: No dad, is she said goodbye to us at the playground.
Me: Who is she that said goodbye to you at the playground?
Maddie: Is she said goodbye to us at the playground.
Me: Okay, but what is the girl's name that said goodbye to you at the playground?
Maddie: Dad, is she said goodbye to us at the playground.
Maddie then looked at me as if an alien had just landed on my head and went running off to play some more. I also felt as if an alien had just landed on my head, so I asked Renee who the girl was at the playground that said goodbye to them and Renee replied it's Maddie's playrground friend named Ishi, at which point I just felt like sitting down for a couple of minutes to let my brain rest.
Maddie: and when we left is she said goodbye.
Me: Oh that's great Maddie, (I didn't actually think anything in the story was great, rather I was just trying to give her positive reinforcement) so who is she that said goodbye?
Maddie: No dad, is she said goodbye to us at the playground.
Me: Who is she that said goodbye to you at the playground?
Maddie: Is she said goodbye to us at the playground.
Me: Okay, but what is the girl's name that said goodbye to you at the playground?
Maddie: Dad, is she said goodbye to us at the playground.
Maddie then looked at me as if an alien had just landed on my head and went running off to play some more. I also felt as if an alien had just landed on my head, so I asked Renee who the girl was at the playground that said goodbye to them and Renee replied it's Maddie's playrground friend named Ishi, at which point I just felt like sitting down for a couple of minutes to let my brain rest.
Ridiculed
Last week I had to go pick up my tailored pants. On a quick side note, having suits and pants tailored made here on the cheap is a really really cool thing about being in China. Anyway, last weekend (similar to this weekend) was snowing in Shanghai and the temperatures were right around freezing. Renee had a church retreat to go to, so it was me and the two kids to head into downtown Shanghai.
Renee helped me with dressing the kids and I thought they were dressed fine for the weather. Anyway, we arrived at the place to pick up my pants after taking a ferry ride across the river. To give you an idea, the place is full of different stalls and stands where someone can get suits made, pants made, shirts made, basically anything made out of cloth, silk or wool can be made by the people in these stalls. So as I was trying on my pants to make sure they fit, people were coming up to the kids to take a look (typical cause they are white). They then noticed that Jacob was only wearing one pair of pants and they started to make comments to me. For those of you who don't know, a great majority of the Chinese tend to put about 5 or 6 layers on their kids before heading out into the cold…so many layers to the point that usually the kids faces get red, not red from the cold, but red because they are burning up. God forbid that Jacob was only wearing one layer. Well I tried to convince the people that he is fine, but since my language skills are pretty non-existent, I don't think me standing up and pounding on my chest like I was a bite size Gorilla implying that us Americans are tough translated too well. So the ridicule continued until we made our escape.
For all of you who really wanted to know, Jacob's hands were a little cold (only because he kept taking off his gloves), but the rest of him and all of Maddie were perfectly warm enough for the weather.
Renee helped me with dressing the kids and I thought they were dressed fine for the weather. Anyway, we arrived at the place to pick up my pants after taking a ferry ride across the river. To give you an idea, the place is full of different stalls and stands where someone can get suits made, pants made, shirts made, basically anything made out of cloth, silk or wool can be made by the people in these stalls. So as I was trying on my pants to make sure they fit, people were coming up to the kids to take a look (typical cause they are white). They then noticed that Jacob was only wearing one pair of pants and they started to make comments to me. For those of you who don't know, a great majority of the Chinese tend to put about 5 or 6 layers on their kids before heading out into the cold…so many layers to the point that usually the kids faces get red, not red from the cold, but red because they are burning up. God forbid that Jacob was only wearing one layer. Well I tried to convince the people that he is fine, but since my language skills are pretty non-existent, I don't think me standing up and pounding on my chest like I was a bite size Gorilla implying that us Americans are tough translated too well. So the ridicule continued until we made our escape.
For all of you who really wanted to know, Jacob's hands were a little cold (only because he kept taking off his gloves), but the rest of him and all of Maddie were perfectly warm enough for the weather.
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